cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize