Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
