I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
