this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
