low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
