Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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