I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
