The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Farmville is her only friend.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
