he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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