I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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