i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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