whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Randomize
