Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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