Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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