I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
