I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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