she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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