okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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