are you still at the devil's house?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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