WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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