So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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