did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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