she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
