Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
