Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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