soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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