dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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