I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
