How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
