my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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