i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
