My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
