you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
