Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
