sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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