She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
