haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
