I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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