Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
