Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
