I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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