I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Randomize
