Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
