just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
