the new term for farting is butt boxing.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
