Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
