he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
