What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
