You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
