I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
