i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
