whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
