He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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